Anyway, before I got back to camp, I took a long road trip this summer, and let me tell you, it was the best way to get my head right and get ready to keep my eyes on the prize. I figured the best place to start would be Los Angeles, you know, since the ladies are so beautiful out there. And also since I practically owned Pasadena back in the 2005 and 2006 Rose Bowls, I thought that would be a great place to start my confidence level off at an astronomically high level. Nobody owns Pasadena like I own Pasadena. Holla!
I wanted to share my experiences with all of my fans, so I decided to make this here blog about the trip. Hope y'all enjoy it. Hook Em!
This is me at the very beginning of my trip. Stuck in traffic, of course. Traffic's not normally a problem for me, because I just weave and juke my way through it. Like I did in the 2005 Rose Bowl. What? That's what I thought. It's like Coach Brown always told me - "1) Never get less than 12 hours sleep, 2) Never go near a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body, and 3) Never play cards with anybody who's got the same first name as a city. You live by that, everything else is cream cheese."
First stop: Grand Canyon. This sucker was big, y'all. I haven't seen a hole that big since our last play of the 2006 Rose Bowl, when I walked into the end zone untouched by a single USC defender on 4th and 5. Now THAT was a hole. This Grand Canyon, though, it was something else. I stood on one side and screamed, "TEXAS!" and a few minutes later I swear I heard somebody from the other side yell, "FIGHT!", but I didn't even see anybody over there!
The next day we stopped at the Petrified Forest in Arizona. They had these dinosaur statues sitting out front, like guarding the place. I don't know why they needed them, though. There wasn't anything in that forrest besides a bunch of rocks. But these dinosaurs, man, they were fierce. They were growling and chasing people and stuff. They just let me pass, though. I'm not sure why, other than the fact that I'm a complete badass. I would have fought them if I had to, though, and they weren't even wearing helmets.
Yeah, the ladies love me. This chick was working at the Petrified Forest. She was taking people's money and stuff, giving them some maps on their way in. She was kissing on me, y'all, I swear, right before we took this picture. No big deal, though, I got females all over the 48 contiguous. And a few in Hawaii. Maybe one or two in Alaska, but I'm not really sure.
This is me inside the Petrified Forest. I don't know why they call it that. It seems wrong on so many levels. First of all, I didn't see a single tree, do you? Second, what's so scary about it? I wasn't scared at all. I wasn't even scared of those dinosaurs they had guarding the entrance. Whatever. It sure was nice out there. Nothing but wide open spaces and fresh air. Sort of like playing Baylor. Just fresh air and enough room to run for hundreds of yards.
Finally, some rest. We stopped in Santa Fe and I got me some 40 winks. More like 400 winks, you know what I'm saying? I was exhausted! Even I need to take a rest every now and then, right? This was one comfortable bed. Too bad that lady from the Petrified Forest wasn't here. Naw, I'm just kidding, y'all. I was too tired for any of that. I needed some me time, you know? Some VY time.
After sleeping in that awesome bed in the Santa Fe Hilton, I was rested and ready to face the day and see some sights. I love the sights. I started with a hike along some river I found. Check out this waterfall! Naw, I'm just messing with you guys. This is just the parking lot of the hotel, but I'm Little Vince, so it might as well have been Niagra Falls, it was huge to me.
I wanted to walk around Santa Fe for awhile, but I was tired, so I caught a ride with this pack mule. Crazy mule, all he wanted to do was stand around. I guess he was tired from carrying his pack all day. I was like, "Damn, mule! You don't think I was tired carrying the Titans on my back all last season? Because I was! But you do what you gotta do, mule, you sack up and you get into that end zone, you know what I'm saying?" That mule didn't do nothing, though. I might as well have been talking to some aggie or something. No brains at all, just stood around all day.
Home, Sweet Home! I was so happy to be back in the Promised Land, if Reggie Bush had been right here I would have given him a big old hug. Then I would have knocked his ass out and taken his Heisman. Naw, I'm just kidding. He can keep that Heisman. I'll keep the title. We'll call it even.
I'm not sure why this picture came out smaller than the others. I just wanted to take a second picture on my way into the greatest state in the union. Sort of like a curtain call. Like, if the first picture was the Michigan Rose Bowl, then this one is like the USC Rose Bowl. Both awesome, in their own way, but one was just a little better than the other, you know?
Check this out. The Cadillac Ranch. Some dude took a bunch of Cadillacs and stuck them in the ground. Can you believe this? Perfectly good Cadillacs? That is some crazy ass stuff right there. Must have been a white dude. Then all these people came in and spraypainted them with all kinds of stuff. Check out that sky. Ominous. Yeah, I said it. It's ominous, y'all.
Before my trip was over, I stopped off at this place called Camp Dream Street. This place was awesome, it's a camp for kids with physical disabilities. All joking aside, y'all, these kids rock! If I couldn't run and razzle dazzle everybody all the time, I don't know what I'd do with myself. But these kids, man, I sure learned a thing or two from them. And there was also some dude dressed like Elvis with a crappy wig on. That wig was nasty, y'all.
The best part of being such a well-known badass is that I've got fans everywhere. It makes me feel good meeting them all, especially nice folks like these. Some dude and his girlfriend, having dinner at some burger place. Look at their shirts. They didn't know I'd be there, but they must have been dreaming about this moment for their entire lives, since before they even knew who I was. I don't remember their names, but I think that girl was trying to get next to me. I couldn't blame her, but I couldn't take her with me either. Know why? Because it was up, up and away time for me. Time to take off up out that place and get back to my teammates. We got work to do if we're gonna do what we're gonna do, you know what I'm saying?
I sure hope you enjoyed my pictures and stories. That was a crazy awesome trip, but playtime's over. Time to get down to business. If you liked reading about this trip I took, leave me some comments and let me know about it. And remember, ain't nobody gonna do what I'm gonna do. HOOK EM!
